Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
