wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
