The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
