HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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