Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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