I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
