It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I didn't notice because vodka
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
