Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
