btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
