but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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