Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
