The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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