so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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