so that wasnt chicken after all
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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