My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
