My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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