he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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