Cold hands, warm shart.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
