For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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