he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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