we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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