are you so shy because you have an std?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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