he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
