I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
