If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
