If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
