bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
