We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
