This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
