That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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