I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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