census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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