I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
