my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
