Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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