Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
