Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
