my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
