He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
