So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
