Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
