Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
