Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
