I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
