Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
