We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
