i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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