He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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