put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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