I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
