Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
