Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
