Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
