What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
